+100 followers. reason I’m thankful

| By Sushilove51 |

“Domo”

 

This is a short note to thank everyone who choose to read this blog. Honestly I didn’t think anyone would. After I wrote my first post. I meant for it to disappear into the abyss. I was surprised to read that I got a “like”.

But, I’ve learned from reading the words of encouragement from other bloggers, that I have to start speaking more confidently about writing. What’s funny is there’s a familiar pattern of me needing a push.

The Genesis of this whole blog began with a slight shove.

I was at a Starbucks with good company. Two friends, Kira & Miki. I had an Iced Chai Latte and they both drank a tall complicated thing.

Kira brought her laptop and we sat there watching a show on Netflix called Terrace House. Which is a Japanese version of the Real World. Where they have a nice house, nice car. And invite twenty-something-year old strangers to move in. You just sit back and watch the entertainment unfold.

I had mixed emotions watching it. Literally, the show is both entertaining and boring at the same time. I can’t say it’s a must-watch or a waste of time. It gently tip toes on a funny borderline.

You can marvel at the fact at how much the show differs from the craziness of the Real World. And at the same time be awed by the maturity of the Terrace House’s inhabitants.

“Are they forty year olds in twenty year old bodies?”

although sometimes they can be immature and appear to be like eight year olds in twenty year old bodies. Which can be said about myself as I read this out-loud.

Overall, I like the show. It’s in Japanese with English subtitles so it helps boost my language skills.

Still in at that moment Kira & Miki didn’t think I liked it as much.

Kira saw that I was looking at my phone and typing more looking at the show.

“I could change it to something else if you don’t like it”. Kira offered.

Sounding kind of bothered I was on my phone instead of enjoying the show with them.

I was enjoying time with them. But I guess it didn’t look that way. It looked like I was in my own world. Relaxed in my seat ignoring the two and Terrace House.

“No, I like this show I just had an idea. that’s all” I told her.

“Are you playing a game?” she asked

“No, just writing something down. I don’t want to forget it later”.

“Writing what?”

I explained to them both that I like to type out my thoughts as a way to make sense of life. Events that are stuck in the drain and won’t leave until I rinse it out the back of my mind. Mostly things I haven’t told anyone. Including the emotions I felt at the time.

Personal things that would kill you with boredom.

“Oh, do you blog?” Miki asked.

“Nope”

“Why not?” she asked surprise

“If you like to write than you should” *the nudge*

I didn’t want to talk about it. I shrugged my shoulders. Sat back in my seat and tried to change the subject so she would stop digging. My writing is personal. I tried to get more into the show with Kira & Miki.

“Let’s just watch this”

Still it was too late. She had planted a seed. it sprouted and grew like a weed.
I asked myself that question over the course of a year on why I didn’t blog.

And so here we are now. finally.

I started my blog Sushi Love a month ago. And neither Kira nor Miki knows about it. But, eventually I’ll fess up.

Maybe over a Iced Chai Latte at Starbucks.

And this is why I appreciate every person that choose to read my blog and comment.

I’m a lover and a prayer and I hope everyone prospers. But I did want to ask the question.

What made you want to blog?

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Blogger Recognition Award -2018

| Written by Sushilove51 |

“Domo”

 

I admit it was a good feeling to look into my notifications and read that I was nominated for this award from this blog page: https://harbansinnerthoughts.com/2018/09/03/blogger-recognition-award-2018/ and just like him I am grateful to the person who created it.

My Award: It’s nice to be considered among 15 other bloggers that our words mean something to someone. And someone was moved by them.

The inception of my blog: I’ve always like writing down my thoughts and journal-ed throughout life. I figured I’d write a blog to organize my thoughts and try to relive my memories.

What is the true definition of friendship?

I don’t know how it’s defined universally but to me it’s the person or people who are there when everyone else turns there back on you.

How long we can live without true love?

I’m not sure if we truly live without experiencing true love. But then again we don’t know if it’s true love unless you’re willing to sacrifice yourself for each other.

Why we cannot control our emotions sometimes?

I see we are born with different temperament some may be able to control it better than others. Sometimes alcohol plays a part. Sometimes the moment calls for it.

 

Why we hide our true self sometimes?

It takes a while to warm up to people. Or it isn’t hiding it’s just operating throughout the day on autopilot.

Why self-awareness is important?

You get to live your own life. Instead, of trying to be like someone else you chase the goals that mean something to you. Enjoy your freedom.

Why sometimes we have to tell lies?

We don’t have to. But, I always think about Tony Montana’s quote in Scarface “I tell the truth even when I lie”. I think it means that if you want the best for someone you’ll tell a lie to lead them down the right path. Because even though you’re telling a lie you’re still trying to be a good influence.

How come we always ready for pay-back?

Not all of us. Maybe in adolescence. But, in adulthood I like to believe that we learn to forgive. Because we understand that all have different paths and pay-back can change our destiny into something unsavory.

What is the borderline between self-esteem and ego?

Probably, the same thing just labeled differently.

Does silence always work?

For meditation yeah. But, in the subject of relationships it can work to hurt it. Especially if it is done to show contempt. It feels horrible when people are apathetic towards you.

What is the role of meditation/prayer in our lives?

I know to those who don’t believe in the spiritual. It feels like a way to feel re-energized. But to others living holy lifestyles praying can be as vital as eating a meal or drinking water. It allows you to walk through a war zone without fear. Your chin up and eyes forward legs churning. Visualizing victory.

How long we can stay away from the truth?

It depends on how good we are at telling lies. Liars can tell so many lies that they believe them to be truth.

Why we become judgmental?

Our hearts are imperfect.

Is not it a fact that we learn more from our criticism than our appreciation?

Depends on the individual.

Is not a fact that ‘habits die hard’ ones they are formed?

Anyone can change. For better or worse.

My questionnaires.

You rub a lamp and a genie pops out. Offers you two wishes. What are they?

A king dies a tragic death and you inherit the throne. An evil uncle gets in the way. How do you get it back/ or do you get it back?

Upon winning your kingdom back. How do you govern it?

Strange settlers come to your land that is hidden from the rest of the world. Do you share your secrets with them or try to get them to leave?

You walk into an enchanted castle and captured by a prince who was turned in a beast. He gives you a chance to escape that night or stay to help him change back. What do you do?

Some witch doctor says he can give you anything you want. For exchange for your soul. Fair deal. Why or why not?

You throw a note in a bottle in the ocean knowing that it will go to the one person you want it to go and will be granted. Who does it go to?

Why is this person so special?

You’re giving a chance to have dinner on the moon. What do you eat? (No dairy, already provided)

If you had the option of walking into dreams or teleporting which one would it be and why?

My nominations for the award:-

“Empowered everyday blog” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/133052986

“Plants and Beyond” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/132166020

“Asian Foodie” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/89361876

“Harban’s inner thoughts” https://harbansinnerthoughts.com/

“Comically Quirky” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/92969433

“Visitor in a strange land” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/111856024

“The comic vault” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/121791430

“Three girls travel” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/148597830

“Anamika’s Blog” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/139987300

“Iain Kelley” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/21051983

“Blessed with a star on the forehead” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/33385295

“Oh Yes, They Did” https://ohyestheydid.ca/

“Classic Carmen” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/138333045

“Rolandomio Travel” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/341663

“Let me photograph you softly” https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/133166418

Sunrise at Lawsons

|Written by Sushilove51| Photo on pexels.com |

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”

– Wayne Gretsky

 

*Staring out a window with bulletproof glass I have a flashback*

A twenty-year old me. Ten-pounds lighter. Ten-times more curious. Facial expression wore the twinkle of a kid at Disney Land.

Today marked a full year in the military. A reason for celebration. However, we would have celebrated anyways. Just be out and about. To live abroad you begin to realize how free you are. When the locals join your company for fun. Come all who are weary. Let’s dance like you do when no ones around.

On Friday nights we were always out past the twilight hours. The usual company of Rodgers, Reyes and some friends from the Medical squadron. One of which couldn’t hold there alcohol this night and had to call it in early.

I remember the Sake Bombs…the vomit…the slip on the steps…the Emergency phone call.

We had to part ways from our friends at the Medical squadron. Twenty minutes later.

We got a text that read:

“Everything’s okay. the night was fun. see you next week”

Young and resilient. It was routine we still had our lessons to learn. Driving towards the base. We were currently in a part of the country we’ve never strayed. Yet no fear had been felt. I was comfortable as if I cruised through my home town. Japan’s atmosphere makes you feel like everything’s under control.

The party had ended. But, our heads still looped the music we heard during the night. As Rodgers drove down the dark road. We were heading into my favorite time of day. When the sun starts to rise. Emotions start to lava out. For some odd reason this time period always does. I can’t it explain it. I just take advice from The Beatles and “Let it be”.

But if I could take a stab at the feeling. It’s comparable to accomplishing a feat. There’s a sense of satisfaction from making it to see the morning. No matter what may have happened prior good or bad has been washed away. Naturally, the world freshens up. Or I may have watched too many vampire movies. Where the sun rising signals that you’ve survived the night.

Rodgers drove and was adamant on not letting people smoke in his car. He saw all the commercials about second hand smoking as a kid and developed a phobia about it. He acted as if he would die instantly once the smoke touched him. I didn’t want to be rude. I didn’t mind stepping outside for a smoke.

We were approaching a Lawson’s and I could go for a coffee to compliment my cigarette. The best part about Japan is the consistency of each town. Everything looks familiar even if you’re somewhere far away. Lawson’s is a convenience store and it lives up to the word convenience. They built them wherever you’d want one.

In a moments notice we pulled up. Out of courtesy I added to my shopping list some rice balls. Salmon Filling, and gave them to my buddies in the car as they waited. He grabbed them and enjoyed. I walked over to the smoke pit outside the store. And so does a girl.

Her eyes and mine meet. Give each other a nod but we never converse. My Japanese wasn’t good enough at the time to carry a conversation. Also my energy was too low. Even with the coffee. So instead we stand there. Each enjoying our cigarettes. The time is 0410 and there the sun rises more.

The brighter it gets the prettier she looks. She has that delicate look. Style with her modern chic. She could be beautiful in any era. In any life. In any universe. She finishes her cigarette and heads to towards her car. Looks at me again and gives a little bow good bye. I wave back bye.

Someone else is in her car waiting for her almost exactly like my friends are. I get back to Rodger’s car. He looks at me and says.

“Not one word, You didn’t say hi to her?”

“Nope”

“You two where best of friends last weekend”

*I did know her*

At the parade. That’s the same girl. We were drank heavy that night. Celebrating a festival. Us together looked like the beginning of something special.  The appearance was wrong. We never reached our potential. That night was only a moment. Still I ask myself if it was too late? She’s away now but it’s okay. I learned to remember It’s meant to be. Roses will bloom.

We stood at the same spot and I couldn’t remember her. It’s like my memory was erased. I wish we could be together like that night. Alcohol can make the night more fun at the risk of forgetting what happened.

Is there a person or people you still think about years later?

Night Shift at Aomori

|Written by Sushilove51 | Photo by A. Chandra|

“Funny thing is I used to stay up all night and called it Fun”

– unknown author

 

I know there’s a stigma about working the night shift. It isn’t good for your health. It isn’t natural your body wants you to be tucked away in bed. Still, despite all of this. I’ll always prefer Nights to Day and wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m not sure as to why. Except for the tranquility I feel during those late hours.

It may be a useless talent of mine that has developed over time. By “Useless Talent” I’m piggy-backing of the theory mentioned in that Tarantino film, “Planet Terror”. It was said during a dialogue between the character Dr. Dakota to a patient.

“You know, my girlfriend had a theory. She said at some point in your life, you find a use for every useless talent you ever had. It’s like connecting the dots.”

Having grown up in Southern California. Very close to Mexico. I’ve partied very frequently since the age of 15. (All you really needed was $15 and a fake id.) While I was up at any hour who knew that I was possibly training my body to be ready for the graveyard shift.

It’s not something you can put on your resume. Word-for-Word. You have to spice it up. Instead, of saying something like.

“I’m able to rock out for 48 hours straight”

You can instead say “I’m able to give 110% working long hours on any shift”

like I said, “Spice”.

When the time for our base’s deployment exercise came around. I’d gotten tasked as a Guard to work the Night Shift. This connected the dots of my useless talents to other useless talents I had.

I remembered every time I spent sitting in a garage watching movies with buddies. Kind of what a guard does. In the sense that you sit on your butt and are required to be alert for long period of time. (Of course, credit the fact that your head is on a swivel ready for bad guys.)

Who knew that chit-chatting about random topics like who has the best crossover in the NBA, The law of attraction or the benefits of wheat grass. In front of Soda, Monster energy drinks, and McDonald’s would someday give me the skills I needed for a future career.

I looked around and thought that life has started to get better. Deciding to stick around has finally started to pay off. I wouldn’t let nothing ruin the good news I’d been giving. Even if I had to work it alongside someone with one of the worst reputations.

To me he wasn’t all that bad.  He was from Sudan. Had a very Sudanese name. However, was preferred to be called Matthew. I assume he was tired from American guys mispronouncing it. I knew him from Basic Training. I’ve always thought he was an “all right” guy. But then again we didn’t really speak a lot to each other. A lot of the other guys avoided him like a wild fire.

One of the reasons was his Temperament. They said he didn’t know how to take a joke. It was said that whatever was said to him he took very personal. And taking everything people say to you personal can get your feeling hurt a lot in the military.

Since, most of the Leadership are straight shooters when it comes to talking and they could care less about your feelings. For example: if we are exercising and someone’s not fit enough and slowing everyone else down. None of them will baby you. Instead, You’ll more than likely hear leadership say.

“Hey fat ass, you should start throwing up after you eat. Then you’ll finally make the run time”.

Also, Americans participate in the Art of roasting. Which by definition is insulting your fellow man for fun. And when it comes to roasting I believe there aren’t any safe zones. It’s pretty much open season for everyone. But, to Matthews credit this is something you have to kind of grow up in to get used to.

The other main reason no one wanted to work with him was because of his smell. Which I admit was an acquired kind of off putting. Back in Training school, we stayed on the same floor and you knew which room he stayed in by that pungent, combo that could be confused with hamster cage hay and ripe onions.

If he said that he was growing onions in his room. I could imagine people saying, “Oh it makes perfect sense”.

Instead people said “Bro, you smell like crap. Did you take a shower?”

I admit this would make me want to get out of guarding a post for 12 hours with him. But, it didn’t bother me so much. Because, since I got to Japan. I had the worst allergies of my life. My skin would flare up and get red. I would wheeze when I went to sleep. And, I was immune to the smell because my sinus where always stuffed. I wouldn’t be able to smell the gun smoke if I fired a rifle. Everything was okay.

As far as how Matthew’s personality. I’m the type of person who tries to understand. And if he was sensitive I wasn’t going to try to bother him. I didn’t need to roast him. He’s probably had enough of a hard time coming to America from Sudan and all. I had no problem with him.

One top of everything. The Supervisor said we’d be guarding the exit gate on the West Side. This was easiest task. When you’re guarding the exit gate your required to do nothing but sit there, couple radio checks and grab your binoculars every now and then. And whenever they simulate a Chemical Attack you can pretend to put a Gas Mask while the guards at the Entrance gate have to actually have it on for hours at a time. Running around like toddlers while the Training Instructors are evaluating their every move. But, who knows maybe I would have been happy either way. Looking at the bright side might be another useless talent being put to use.

*The day our shift started*

We sat there two men making a living sitting down, chit-chat about random topics. In front of Coke, Monster energy drinks and McDonald’s. All my life I thought that this was just a Useless Talent. Well, past negative thoughts. Look at me now because It can’t be that useless if it puts food on the table.

During our shift Matthew and I converse about life experiences but after about two hours in there is only so much that we can talk about. Until the two of us start to get tired. We retreat to our books or magazine.

*Three hours later* Matthew starts to giggle.

I question him out of curiosity. “What’s so funny man? you read something good?”

Out of nowhere Matthew says, “You know the guys at work like to joke around a lot”.

“Yeah, nothing like a good laugh” I respond.

“Yeah, it’s very different from where I’m from”

“How so?”

“It’s a sign of aggression to make fun of someone the way they do it” Matthew says sternly.

“Really?”

“Yes, and you don’t want to start fights where I’m from…Because we’re I’m from we fight until the death”.

I just nodded along, and thought to myself. “Wow, this got uncomfortable fast” I pulled out my book. And decided not to talk the rest of the shift. because I wasn’t ready to die nor to kill. I was just looking forward for time to pass. Not out of fear of him. But more so we can get into my favorite time period.

It begins at 0400 and ends around 0445 this is when the sun starts to rise.

To me there is something, “magical” about this time period. I know that once I’m here I get this burst of energy. Everything feels more calm. Everyone gets calm. The wind isn’t moving. The air seems to feel fresher. I think about a new beginning. And the inability to articulate words to convey the beauty of it all.

I just learned accept that you don’t need it. All the understanding of why something is enjoyable. I have to tell myself “How about you just enjoy the mystery”.

Then another memory comes to mind. I smile about it. Even if it’s kind of sad because it’s a story of wasted opportunity. And not much can irk a person’s soul worse. There’s that sense of regret of saying the wrong words or not saying anything at all.

Then all that’s left is hope. The hope that something better will come. A better chance. Your life’s Destiny.

 

Are there any talents you thought were useless but a moment they became useful?