Sunrise at Lawsons

|Written by Sushilove51| Photo on pexels.com |

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”

– Wayne Gretsky

 

*Staring out a window with bulletproof glass I have a flashback*

A twenty-year old me. Ten-pounds lighter. Ten-times more curious. Facial expression wore the twinkle of a kid at Disney Land.

Today marked a full year in the military. A reason for celebration. However, we would have celebrated anyways. Just be out and about. To live abroad you begin to realize how free you are. When the locals join your company for fun. Come all who are weary. Let’s dance like you do when no ones around.

On Friday nights we were always out past the twilight hours. The usual company of Rodgers, Reyes and some friends from the Medical squadron. One of which couldn’t hold there alcohol this night and had to call it in early.

I remember the Sake Bombs…the vomit…the slip on the steps…the Emergency phone call.

We had to part ways from our friends at the Medical squadron. Twenty minutes later.

We got a text that read:

“Everything’s okay. the night was fun. see you next week”

Young and resilient. It was routine we still had our lessons to learn. Driving towards the base. We were currently in a part of the country we’ve never strayed. Yet no fear had been felt. I was comfortable as if I cruised through my home town. Japan’s atmosphere makes you feel like everything’s under control.

The party had ended. But, our heads still looped the music we heard during the night. As Rodgers drove down the dark road. We were heading into my favorite time of day. When the sun starts to rise. Emotions start to lava out. For some odd reason this time period always does. I can’t it explain it. I just take advice from The Beatles and “Let it be”.

But if I could take a stab at the feeling. It’s comparable to accomplishing a feat. There’s a sense of satisfaction from making it to see the morning. No matter what may have happened prior good or bad has been washed away. Naturally, the world freshens up. Or I may have watched too many vampire movies. Where the sun rising signals that you’ve survived the night.

Rodgers drove and was adamant on not letting people smoke in his car. He saw all the commercials about second hand smoking as a kid and developed a phobia about it. He acted as if he would die instantly once the smoke touched him. I didn’t want to be rude. I didn’t mind stepping outside for a smoke.

We were approaching a Lawson’s and I could go for a coffee to compliment my cigarette. The best part about Japan is the consistency of each town. Everything looks familiar even if you’re somewhere far away. Lawson’s is a convenience store and it lives up to the word convenience. They built them wherever you’d want one.

In a moments notice we pulled up. Out of courtesy I added to my shopping list some rice balls. Salmon Filling, and gave them to my buddies in the car as they waited. He grabbed them and enjoyed. I walked over to the smoke pit outside the store. And so does a girl.

Her eyes and mine meet. Give each other a nod but we never converse. My Japanese wasn’t good enough at the time to carry a conversation. Also my energy was too low. Even with the coffee. So instead we stand there. Each enjoying our cigarettes. The time is 0410 and there the sun rises more.

The brighter it gets the prettier she looks. She has that delicate look. Style with her modern chic. She could be beautiful in any era. In any life. In any universe. She finishes her cigarette and heads to towards her car. Looks at me again and gives a little bow good bye. I wave back bye.

Someone else is in her car waiting for her almost exactly like my friends are. I get back to Rodger’s car. He looks at me and says.

“Not one word, You didn’t say hi to her?”

“Nope”

“You two where best of friends last weekend”

*I did know her*

At the parade. That’s the same girl. We were drank heavy that night. Celebrating a festival. Us together looked like the beginning of something special.  The appearance was wrong. We never reached our potential. That night was only a moment. Still I ask myself if it was too late? She’s away now but it’s okay. I learned to remember It’s meant to be. Roses will bloom.

We stood at the same spot and I couldn’t remember her. It’s like my memory was erased. I wish we could be together like that night. Alcohol can make the night more fun at the risk of forgetting what happened.

Is there a person or people you still think about years later?

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Thoughts before Disney Sea

|Written by Sushilove51| Photo on pexels.com |

“Vacation, All I ever wanted, Vacation had to get away…”

– The Go-Go’s

 

Years back.

You may have seen a comic strip by Adam Ellis that trended for a while on the internet.

It was a four scene story with a memorable line a lot of us could relate to. Two buddies sit on a couch. One is watching football on T.V. with a generic t-shirt that reads sports team.

The other guy sits next to him and begins to complain about the game of football. Then he begins to gives reasons of why it sucks.

The football fan then shuts his mouth closed and whispers.

“Let people enjoy things”.

It’s a comic strip that does the dirty work for you. If you have some person in your life adamant on taking the fun out of life. This is your battle cry.

Still at the same time it’s weirdly comforting to know others been in this situation. Your not alone in this.

And when it does the go to attitude was aloof and tune them out. Those who like to crap on beautiful things. It’s an ugly vibe I try to stay clear from.

Which brings me to when a person tried to ruin Disneyland for me. A person I barely knew and seen in passing. The military base community is a small world and news travels quicker than in hair saloons even the most useless information that has nothing to do with you.

I was filling up a mug with coffee when I heard my name.

“Hey what’s going on?”

“Sup you”

“Good man, Heard from so and so you were going to Disney”

“Yeah, I leave this weekend”

“Really man, you’re going to support Disney?”

“Yeah”

“There’s an evil corporation that has been influence the minds of the youth with evil imagery…There connected with so much of the elites…”

“Hey man, good talk…I don’t have time for this…ever”

I prefer a positive vibe.

Have you meet killjoys and wanted to say “Let people enjoy things” ?

Goodbye at Haneda-Airport

|Written by Sushilove51| Photo by T. Gouw |

 

“We’re becoming mortal. It’s us, being close to each other. It never happened this fast before. You have to leave. The further you get from me, the better you’re going to feel”

– Charlize Theron, Hancock Movie

 

Thousands of people walk to and from the Haneda-Airport. Some on time moving according to schedule and some are in a rush barely making it. Just like the McAllister family in the Home Alone movie.

Everyone has a journey and sometimes I wonder how nice it’d be if everyone would just stopped what they were doing and enjoyed life with each other. One of the tragic things about time on earth, is that our time is limited. Each of us are giving an unknown amount. With this in perspective, I hope to make an effort doing things I enjoy with the people I care for.

This day helped me realized this truth. Considering the circumstance.

Depending on what brings you to airport changes your entire body language. For instance, If you are going to see someone you love. You are all smiles you walk around like your at Disneyland, “The happiest place on earth”. Nothing will take you of this high.

But if you’re leaving someone behind it can be sadder than a cemetery visit. Which happened to be the case for me.

I didn’t want to fly. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t care to travel. Even though, I’ve always considered myself a traveler. I used to want to see the world. Part of the reason I joined the military in the first place. I knew I’d be given the chance to see parts to the world I’ve wanted to go.

My second year in; I’ve traveled throughout the U.S., Mid-west, East Coast, and I was able to have great experiences like drinking a Pint of Guinness fresh from the tap at an Ireland pub. Speaking to people I barely understood. Only making out that there were giving off some good vibes. I met Jesus in Brazil as a statue called “Christ the Redeemer” who welcomed me with his arms spread open.

Then it all changed. The Traveling adventurer side of me disappeared. When I got stationed to Japan. All of a sudden I no longer felt the need to travel after I looked around, settled in and saw where I was at.

I realized a truth about myself. When I was traveling I must of not been doing it aimlessly like I thought I was. The curiosity I felt when I stepped of different airports and the happiness I felt when I looked around. Taking in all the new decor and the smiles from the friendly host. The curiosity was there because I was looking for something. Not sure what it was exactly but perhaps home.

While in Japan I felt a comfort I never knew. That’s when I had the epiphany and I see it more clear. I wasn’t traveling just to travel. I needed to find something. And that’s what happened when I moved to Japan. The perfect location and the person.

For the past two years me and here spent all our free time with each other. I was a busy young man serving in the Military. The training. The exercising. The war games. Still we made time for each other. This made the entire work cycle worth every minute. I would do it again. As long as I knew sometime during the week we would eventually get back to each other.

Imagine how I felt when we were at the airport knowing that I had to go to the Middle East for a year. It’s very cliché to say but we have to take the good with the bad. When we look at the situation at face value it was sad. She cried the whole way there up until we said goodbye. But then I got to see her cry. Which says a lot more than what anyone can express with words.

Watching her demeanor was bitter sweet. You know the military was easy for me. I may have gotten PTSD before I even joined. The environment I was raised in forced me to control my emotion, even withdraw because if I succumbed to the feeling that were necessary for the situation. I’m sure I would have cried my entire child hood.

Years later, I’m at an airport. It’s okay to be vulnerable because she is. She doesn’t care how she looks. All she cares about is that she wants me to come back safe. That’s up in the air it’s a mystery. Anything can happen in the Middle East. But, nothing is more dishonorable than a man who doesn’t fulfill his obligation. The military provided me with a chance to be better. Now it was time to fulfill my side of the deal.

Airports can the saddest/romantic places on earth. I needed a cigarette.

What was your hardest good bye?

Late Night McDonald’s Japan |Part One|

|Written by Sushilove51 | Photo by M. Wakui |

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”

-D. Mamet

 

On sleepless nights.

I lay in bed with eyes shut wondering “What the heck?” and “Not, again”.

I’m annoyed by whatever this condition is. It’s not consistent enough to be insomnia. At the most it’ll happen twice a month.

Am I in a re-boot. That happens periodically. I can’t sleep sometimes and my thoughts bounce from idea to idea.

I used to try and get more sleep but I gave up on that idea. I learned to do something I need to get done, a chore. Something that burns calories to get me tired enough to fall into slumber.

Trying to to figure out what awoke me, a bad dream, a random thought, must of been something strange and for whatever reason. I’m up. Getting sleep shouldn’t take this much effort. We should just sail into it.

Like having to use the restroom. When it’s time to go and nature calls. You pick up, take a shot, swish.

I wake up and do whatever I want until I’m tired. The level of beat where I’m able to sleep where I stand. Friends who know me know I’m able. They’ve seen me in action.

This night I was far from it. Starving for something tasty. Thirsty for something root- beerish. No matter what the calorie count was. When I’m tired I act like a hungry drunk in that I have no resistance to what I’ll eat.

Lord knows. I’ve never woken up for midnight snack to eat a celery stick. My midnight snacks are sloppy and disgusting. A meal for Pregnant women and the Head of Biker Gangs.

Something like a bag of chips laid as a bed for a fat boy sandwich which is simply; two, three, four, slices of bread, and anything in the fridge to go in between. Drizzled with ketchup, relish, salt, pepper, hot sauce, soy sauce, Campbell’s Tomato Soup, no rules, anything goes.

And If this doesn’t satisfy me. I dig into a cereal box and eat claws full of it.

Tonight, I knew the food I wanted that my fridge didn’t have. It was a ten minute drive from my dorm room. And it’s no use of thinking of not going. My body’s been craving McDonald’s. Now, normally this wouldn’t happen in the States.

The restaurant has never been a priority to me. We have a Denny’s (Chicken-fried steak, Sampler Platter) We have a Jack in the box (eat anything as long as we have buttermilk ranch).

There are at least three other restaurants that I’d consider before thinking about a McDonald’s. But, the thing is…I’m in Japan and over here McDonald’s you get more than what you pay for.

I rose from my futon and went to my freshening up routine.

Brush Teeth, Wash Face, Wash Hands, Change Clothes. Out the door.

For a second I thought about knocking on the door of a neighbor. To see if anyone shared a desire to chow down burgers and fries. Then I thought about the added time I’d waste if they weren’t ready.

I couldn’t decide. But, I luckily I didn’t need to. While I was contemplating inviting people my legs didn’t stop from taking strides towards my car. And there in front of car.

I stepped in. Where I could still smell the cigarette smoke.Not because of me, but because I decided to be a bro and gave a co-worker a drive home hours before. Thankfully it wasn’t mine. I had been battling my cigarette addiction for a while. It’s kicked my butt for a while. This time I got the upper-hand.

So far at least. I cruise onto the streets that are lit by the amber glow of street lights.

8 minutes later, I pull into my destination.

 

What’s your favorite midnight meal?